Thursday, January 20, 2005

The King is Dead, Long Live the King

Wonkette live-blogged the coronation inauguration today. Some of the better comments:
11:27AM: Look at Frist's lavender tie! Totally Sponge Bob.
11:35AM: Bad hat day. Specter in modified cowboy hat. Harken in fedora.
11:36AM: Massive earhair shot of Bush. A good deal of earhair. Should the leader of the free world have so much ear hair?
11:40AM: Trent Lott reminds us that Americans have been gathering for over 200 years to welcome their new presidents a "peaceful and dignified ceremonies." And then, he said, "there's this year, which is a $40 million obscenity of corporate whoredom."
11:46AM: Is this church or something? What's with the hymn? Are they going to ask for money next? Oh, right. . . they already did. Thank you, Beer Wholesale Distributors, for this lovely celebration of democracy.
11:49AM: Cheney getting sworn in. Fuck, this is really happening, isn't it? Wait, did you hear that? He swore to protect us from "all enemies foreign domestic and made up. . ." They're warning us this time!
11:50AM: Hastert totally had leftover Christmas turkey under coat. Snacking on it between lines
11:51AM: Cheney to Bush: "Thank you Mr. President, now let's go back to blowing shit up."
11:58AM: Four more years, minus about a minute. Just keep the bourbon coming.
12:02PM: "No one is fit to be a master, and no one deserves to be a slave." Except for the gays. We hear they're into that.
12:04PM: "Some have unwisely chosen to test America's resolve, and have found it firm." Huh-huh. We're not a mattress.
12:14PM: Uh-oh. Racism is bad. "We cannot carry the message of freedom and the baggage of bigotry at the same time." But Prada has this totally cute baggage of bigotry!
12:18PM: "America, in this young century, proclaims liberty throughout all the world, and to all the inhabitants thereof. Renewed in our strength - tested, but not weary - we are ready for the greatest achievements in the history of freedom." DUDE! Except when we take yours away. Sorry.

[Emphasis added.]